Reverend Marci Scott-Weis, MDIV

This Pride Sunday, as we lift up in celebration 30 years of being an Open and Affirming Church to the LGBTQ+ community, we’re going to turn to Mr. Roger’s wisdom around the critical importance of acceptance. Or as Mr. Rogers would characterize it, ‘who you are right now is acceptable.’

Now, most folks who knew him, describe Fred Rogers as one of the most understanding and radically compassionate people they knew. He dedicated his TV show and much of his life’s work to showing everyone that they are valuable just the way they are. Mr. Rogers said, ‘when we love a person, we accept them exactly as is; the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade’. He consistently promoted the idea of accepting others for who they are, unconditionally.

And Mr. Rogers demonstrated that radical acceptance on his show by featuring people of all abilities, races, genders and backgrounds in positive roles on his show. Most famously, he did this by dipping his white feet in a pool along with a black man at a time when white segregationists were organizing against letting black people share swimming pools with white people. In so many ways, Mr. Rogers was well ahead of his time, boldly pushing boundaries in the right directions towards justice and equality and radical acceptance.

But like so many folks, Mr. Rogers wasn’t free of biases or prejudices or negative assumptions. Yeah, even a superhero like Mr. Rogers had his own journey of learning and evolution, particularly when it came to LGBTQ+ issues. See, that same black man that Mr. Rogers had so boldly and courageously put his feet into a pool with was also gay. His name was Francois Clemmons and he played Officer Clemmons on the series for 25 years and was a close friend of Mr. Rogers. In 1969 when word got back to Mr. Rogers that Mr. Clemmons had been spotted in a gay bar, Mr. Rogers asked him to avoid going to those sort of bars in the future and remain closeted because he was afraid that Mr. Clemmons’ sexuality would both bring negative attention to the show and destroy Mr. Clemmons’ acting career.

Now, do I wish that Mr. Rogers had handled this situation differently, that his message of unconditional acceptance would have extended to boldly supporting Officer Clemmons to be his authentic gay self on the show and in his life? Sure! Is it hard to recognize that Mr. Rogers wasn’t perfect, that he like any human being, was a work in progress and a product of his time and environment. Sure!

But Mr. Rogers’ concerns about and his show and Mr. Clemmons career were probably very valid at that time. Throughout much of Mr. Rogers’ time on television, mainstream America widely embraced very homophobic attitudes. Something Mr. Clemmons recognized as well saying about Mr. Rogers’ request for him to remain closeted, “It wasn’t a personal statement of how he felt about me…it had to do with the economics of the show…that era—there was so much negative activity in this country against gay people.’

Mr. Clemmons has also said frequently over the years, that even with Mr. Roger’s concerns about folks finding out he was gay, that he found deep comfort and support in Mr. Rogers’ presence and the inclusive atmosphere of the show. And even though he asked Mr. Clemmons to remain closeted, when Mr. Rogers received pressure to use his platform to condemn same-gender relationships, he refused. As to why he didn’t use his show to speak against the LGBTQ+ community, his biographer wrote, “Fred felt everybody was, in some way, a reflection of God.”

It’s clear that as a person Mr. Rogers’ opinions about the LGBTQ+ community evolved throughout the years. Like so many other areas of his life, his empathetic nature pushed him to be bold and to continuously grow and evolve. Over the years, Mr. Rogers never went on the record with specific opinions about LGBTQ+ people or the matters that affect them. But all of his friends and colleagues who have reported their experiences with him on this topic, have said that Mr. Rogers saw the humanity in all LGBTQ+ people.

If Mr. Rogers were around today, I’d like to think that anyone within the LGBTQ+ community would feel right at home in his neighborhood. That they would be welcomed, seen and known for their beautiful self. And that at this moment in history, based on his foundational messages of love, acceptance and understanding, I think that Mr. Rogers would be standing firmly on the side of inclusion, acceptance, belonging and justice for all people, especially the LGBTQ+ community. The more I learn about him, the more confident I am of where I think Mr. Rogers would be right now and what he would be doing. Which in addition to using his platform to stress the power of inclusion and acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community, I’m pretty sure that he’d be the Grand Marshal at a Pride Parade, boldly pushing boundaries in the direction of love, inclusion and acceptance.

So what does Mr. Rogers’ teachings and life lessons have to say to this Christ-inspired community of faith, celebrating thirty years of being open and affirming to the LGBTQ+ community, today on this Pride Sunday? Mr. Clemmons wrote often about the fact that Mr. Rogers was the one person in his life that always told him, “I like you just the way you are.” Even though Mr. Rogers himself struggled over the years to live into those words, in all of the ways that probably mattered to Mr. Clemmons, those are the words that Mr. Clemmons remembers the most from his friend. ‘I like you just the way you are.’

It’s clear that there’s deep healing in that sort of acceptance that comes from liking folks just the way they are, from seeing the humanity and the divinity in all people. And that sort of acceptance is especially critical and needed for the LGBTQ+ community right now. The Trevor Project recently reported that a majority of LGBTQ+ young people reported being verbally harassed at school because people thought they were LGBTQ+. That fewer than 40% of LGBTQ+ young people found their home to be affirming and accepting of who they are. That nearly 1 in 3 LGBTQ young people said their mental health was poor most of the time or always due to anti-LGBTQ+ policies and legislation. And most alarming of all…that 41% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.

It seems like the stakes are really high right now for us as individuals and as an Open and Affirming community of faith to demonstrate acceptance, affirmation and love for our LGBTQ+ family. Right now, we are the only community of faith in Magnolia that puts up a Pride banner each year and we’ll soon be the only community of faith in Magnolia with a permanent Pride flag on our building. Both of those actions are public witnesses of acceptance and affirmation to our broader community. They are affirmations to anyone walking by here, that within these doors, they would be safe, they would be seen, they would be known, they would be accepted.

How else can we possibly demonstrate loving acceptance? We can continue to demonstrate acceptance by honoring all forms of authenticity, like how when someone tells us their pronouns, and we use them, we demonstrate that we honor that person. When someone tells us of their fears being nonbinary in our country right now, where the non-scientific understanding of two genders is being hard coded into legislation, and we listen to those fears and we honor those fears, we demonstrate acceptance. When we stand up and advocate for the trans community, while close to 900 anti-trans bills have been proposed in 49 states (including Washington) with over 100 of them having been enacted, we demonstrate loving acceptance. Our loving and accepting actions matter and they are desperately needed right now.

Mr. Rogers taught that it was critical to accept folks exactly for who they were in that moment. “When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is.’ When we honor those words in all of our relationships, that’s how we love and honor all of our neighbors, especially our LGBTQ+ neighbors. When we honor those words in all of our relationships, we nurture safe neighborhoods for all of our neighbors, especially our LGBTQ+ neighbors. When we love and accept a person for exactly as they are, we help LGBTQ+ youth know that they belong in this world and that our world is so much better off with them in it.

The LGBTQ+ community desperately needs that sort of radically accepting love right now, not just on Pride Sunday or Pride month but all days and all months…. May each of us in this Christ-inspired community of faith hear that call and may we respond with open arms, strong voices and loving hearts full of radical acceptance!

May it be so!

Amen