Reverend Marci Scott-Weis, MDIV

Friends, today we kick off a summer series of Meditations focused on the spiritual wisdom of Mr. Rogers, the creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood as well as the host of all 895 episodes of that show. He was among the most highly respected and regarded TV personalities for decades. Mr. Rogers committed his life to making television programs for children often saying that he trusted that if he was giving his honest self, whoever was watching would hear it in a way that would truly matter.

And Mr. Roger’s approach to both teaching and life extended beyond simply offering a television show viewed by millions over the years. He also danced in the realm of the sacred with how he lived and what he taught, saying, “the space between the television screen and whoever happens to be receiving it… I consider that holy ground.”

From my earliest memories, I can recall watching Mr. Rogers walk into his house, change his shoes, put on his sweater and invite me into his neighborhood. There, I witnessed kindness and gentleness and respect for others. I witnessed thoughtfulness and patience and the gift of being vulnerable, being seen and known and being valued and loved. When I watched Mr. Rogers, I witnessed a very different world than the one that was surrounding me as a child.

Over the years, my memories of Mr. Roger’s wisdom dimmed a bit until it came rushing back on the evening of September 11^th, 2001. Earlier that day, I had watched the two planes crash into the twin towers in New York City. My youngest daughter was just one year old and throughout the day I had sat rocking her as I watched the horrifying images unfold. Like so many of us that day, I was angry and sad and confused and overwhelmed. And I was so very afraid.

Later that evening, a newscaster shared a quote from Mr. Rogers that brought me the one piece of comfort I felt that entire day. It went like this, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Though Mr. Rogers was deeply religious, he never attempted to argue that tragedy was part of God’s plan for the world or anything like that. Instead, he tried to keep us focused on the good things humanity is capable of, which are often in much greater evidence than the bad. And he was right, the powerful, brave images of the helpers on that day eased my fears and brought me comfort. There truly were people helping, an insight that was easy to miss on that scary day.

Now, I don’t imagine that I’m unique in my memories of all that Mr. Rogers gave to the kids who entered into his home and life on a regular basis. His wisdom touched so many children’s lives over the years as he offered the world insights that were at times heartwarming and at other times unsettling as he invited children into seeing and knowing deeply and being seen and known deeply. And as he offered an alternative vision of what neighbor and neighborhood could truly mean in this world.

And as adults, his lessons are incredibly appropriate for these times. Mr. Rogers’ teachings remind us grownups that we need to prioritize care, compassion, and unconditional positive regard for ourselves and others. His lessons challenge us to examine what real leadership should look like, offering up patience, empathy, and a focus on service as the defining characteristics of what makes a leader. And his wisdom continues to challenge all to take a hard look at just who our neighbor really is and encourage us to broadly expand that understanding of what it means to be a neighbor.

There will never be anyone quite like Mr. Rogers. So for the next few weeks, we’ll turn to that wisdom that Mr. Rogers so graciously shared throughout his life and consider the applicability of his teachings here and now, in our lives and in the world today. And we’ll kick that off today by looking at how he taught about empathy, something that was critical to both who he was as a human being and what he taught.

Dr. Brené Brown writes that empathy is about feeling with someone, not feeling for them. Empathy doesn’t involve pity. Instead, empathy feels what the other feels from their frame of reference, sensing what it is like to walk around in their world. To have empathy means that we understand and share the other’s experiences and emotions, so that we don’t only hear their words; we feel them. Empathy is an essential characteristic of humanity and when we don’t have it, we are losing our basic humanity.

Mr. Rogers emphasized the importance of empathy, urging individuals to understand and connect with the feelings of others. He believed that by being kind and accepting others, we can build a more compassionate world.  He said, “to love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” Mr. Rogers taught and modeled the critical importance of accepting others for who they are.

Why is this spiritual wisdom regarding empathy from Mr. Rogers so desperately needed right now? Because scientists have found alarming decreases in levels of empathy, a 48% drop in levels of empathy between 1979 and 2009! And overall, scientists are reporting a generational decrease in empathy and a rise in narcissism around the world. Jennifer Rubin, writes in the Washington Post, ‘the global lack of empathy has been manifested in an erosion of civility, decency and compassion in our society, that we can see in political polarization, “us versus them” thinking styles, hate crimes, and demonizing of immigrants and refugees.’

Empathy is dying, and that means that we are at risk of losing our humanity. We are at risk of losing our neighborhoods and our neighbors. The call back to accepting each other exactly the way they are, here and now, has never been more important. We must once again learn, as a civilization, to empathize, to strive to accept the other without judgement. We have to be willing to be courageously vulnerable and step into another’s frame of reference and connect with their thoughts and feelings. We have to engage with others in more meaningful ways…we have to remember our humanity.

Mr. Rogers invited all to be their best selves by finding what was good in everyone he met. That is part of how he taught kids about empathy. He also modeled empathy in his interactions with his visitors and neighbors, through is words and his actions and his commitments.

One of the best examples of this role-modeling of empathy was the manner in which he fed his goldfish…something he would do regularly but he would often not say anything while he was feeding them. That was until he received a letter from a blind viewer who was very worried about the fish. She couldn’t see if Mr. Rogers was feeding the fish and asked him to announce out loud when he was feeding them because she was worried about the fish. And from that point on, in every episode, Mr. Rogers would narrate himself feeding the fish by saying, ‘I’m feeding the fish because of a letter I received from a young blind girl who was worried the fish were hungry.’

Mr. Rogers taught that it was critical to accept folks exactly for who they were in that moment. He said, “When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is, the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade.’ That was how we love our neighbor. That is how we build our neighborhoods. That is how we love.

The second half of that quote about unconditional acceptance goes like this…’and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.’ Mr. Rogers got that we cannot do the hard work of unconditionally loving and accepting the other, until we have done the hard work of unconditionally loving and accepting ourselves. Having empathy toward ourselves is what makes us capable of showing empathy with others.

Empathy calls us to be with people where they really are, to put ourselves into their place and feel what they feel, even when it is messy and hard. And we can express it in many, many ways. Empathy can show up in acts of compassion, generosity, kindness, vulnerability, thankfulness, understanding, appreciation, tenderness, being present and offering grace. Mr. Rogers taught it. Mr. Rogers modeled it. And his spiritual wisdom regarding the power of empathy calls to us here and now.

The world needs our empathic hearts.

May we hear that call and be the ones to step forward to both hear and feel the sacred stories of all that encounter.

May it be so!   Amen