Reverend Marci Scott-Weis, MDIV

Okay so dear ones, this week we come to the end of our series on the spiritual lessons of Mr. Rogers. Over the past weeks, we’ve covered the importance of Mr. Rogers’ wisdom regarding empathy, acceptance, gratitude and our feelings. Through all of those spiritual lessons that we’ve covered, a common thread has existed….the critical need to create a safe world where all belong. That was foundational to Mr. Rogers, who started every one of his close to 900 shows by inviting his viewers to belong; to be his neighbor, to be seen, to be known.

Mr. Rogers initially got into television because he was moved by the demeaning and degrading and humiliating behaviors that he witnessed on tv and he wanted to do something about it. And so he tried to create a show where he could make goodness attractive, where he could celebrate kindness. And that was a pretty revolutionary approach in the early years of television.

But even though Mr. Rogers’ approach was so very different from anything else that was on tv at the time, he was able to create a show that made goodness attractive and made kindness and acceptance the norm for how one interacted with their neighbors. He created a world that was safe, where everyone was both welcomed and belonged. And he did that by recognizing that everyone needs to be seen and known, not for who we are on the outside, but for who we are on the inside, in all of our messiness. We all need to be truly heard and understood.

Now Mr. Rogers favorite book was The Little Prince and his favorite quote from that favorite book was this, ‘here is my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.’ He kept a framed copy of that quote hanging over every desk he ever had. That’s actually one of my all-time favorite quotes. That concept of seeing with the heart is both so very challenging and so very beautiful.

The wisdom found in that quote about seeing with the heart, recognizing what was truly essential in life, was not something that Mr. Rogers was born with. That wisdom was very hard won because Mr. Rogers was what Henry Nouwen would describe as a ‘wounded healer’. Nouwen’s inspiration for that phrase came from an old Jewish legend, where a Rabbi asks the prophet Elijah when the Messiah will come and how he can recognize him. Elijah says that he will be found at the city gates and describes him this way:

‘He is sitting among the poor covered with wounds. The others unbind all their wounds at the same time and bind them up again. But he unbinds one at a time and binds it up again, saying to himself, “Perhaps I shall be needed: if so I must always be ready so as not to delay for a moment.”’

Nouwen said of that legend that it told us that for a healer to be able to help others, they have to bind their own wounds carefully up first, in anticipation of the moment when they would be needed. The wounded healer is one who looks after their own wounds and at the same time is prepared to help heal the wounds of others. If we have undergone a process of healing, then our wounds can enable us to be ready to help others. Or simply put, wounded healers offer their hurts to help others receive comfort and encouragement by deeply empathizing with the emotions of others, allowing them to tell their stories and to be seen and known.

But being a wounded healer requires deep self-awareness, often gained through contemplative reflection about the stories behind those wounds. Mr. Rogers’ wounds came from his childhood experiences. He grew up shy, struggling with many childhood illnesses including scarlet fever that would keep him bedbound for weeks. And he struggled with his weight and was subsequently teased, taunted and relentlessly bullied, often being chased home from school, knocking on doors seeking safety.

It was Mr. Rogers’ grandfather that would often say to him over and over again during those dark times, ‘Freddy, you made this day a special day for me just by your being you.’  And over time, Mr. Rogers got that message that he was special. And that both he and others could like him for who he was on the inside, for the parts of him that couldn’t be seen with anything other than the heart. That which was essential about him, that which was invisible to the eye, was worthy of being seen and known.

And then Mr. Rogers took those painful experiences and the lessons learned from them and he found a healing way to move forward and help others. He became self-aware, he discovered the invisible in himself, through realizing that what was inside of him was more valuable than what was outside. He went on to create a life that was simple, quiet, contemplative and reflective. One where he would routinely take time to slow down and intentionally reflect and devote time to self-discovery. All of these self-awareness practices helped him to be both really open to and accepting of his neighbors.

Mr. Rogers was passionate about what was truly essential not only in his story but also in other people’s stories. He was deeply interested in the internal values, feelings and thoughts of his neighbors. And his commitment to honoring the truest parts of his story and of his neighbors’ stories allowed for a depth of relationship that left many who interacted with him deeply changed.

I think we can all probably think of someone in our life who has gone through painful experiences and become bitter or angry. Mr. Rogers went through a whole lot of difficult and painful experiences in his childhood and instead turned his pain into purpose. A purpose found through self-awareness, cultivated by thoughtful reflection, cultivated through seeing the essential with the heart. A purpose found because he made it a priority to find out the truth about himself which then allowed him to truly be present with, to listen to and to honor the sacred stories and experiences and feelings of his neighbors. A purpose that allowed him to become a wounded healer who positively impacted the lives of millions.

So, now that we have spent a few weeks immersed in the spiritual wisdom of Mr. Rogers, it’s fair to wonder how moving forward, we are going to live into that sacred wisdom with our own neighbors and in our own neighborhoods? Mr. Rogers’ shows us a  pretty clear roadmap to becoming a better neighbor by honoring feelings (even the difficult and messy ones), by working to have self-awareness, by expressing gratitude, by showing empathy and by offering unconditional acceptance to all we encounter.

And he taught us that we can do all of that by recognizing that we all have something inside of us that is unique and special just to us and use that self-awareness to help others see their own uniqueness. Mr. Rogers said, ‘as human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has or ever will have, something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.’

We all have something valuable to bring to the world. Each and every one of us. And so today, take a moment and reflect on what your ‘something valuable to bring to the world’ is and consider how you can offer more of it.  Because our neighbors need our unique and valuable gifts right now. Because our neighborhoods need our unique and valuable gifts right now. Because our world needs our unique and valuable gifts right now, desperately.

That valuable and unique part of each of us that can only be seen clearly with the heart, is the gift that creates, that enlivens, and that loves. It is the part of us that is of God, for God and with God. And it is essential that we claim it and that we share it.

So my friends, may we each have the courage to claim our own unique and special gift to bring to the world. And may we find a way to express that gift and allow it to help heal all that is broken, to help restore all that is fractured and to help bring light to all that is dark.

May it be so, may it be so, may it be so…

Amen